Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Mid July and Bertram's garden needed tending so I assembled, Dirty Dozen style, a team of "crack" horticulturists to get the job done. Big strong chaps in the prime of their lives-  sinewy and huge thighed, ready for anything..........

Well , they couldnt make it so.....

Matts A and P;  Lawn abuse.  footwear?- casual
"Big" Jim Jimmer and "No messin" Jack "the Don" Jack ;   driveway worrying.  footwear?- neat and tidy
Tall Mark and Uddersfield Dick-  Sleeper bed construction.  footwear?-  "reet champion lad tha knowst"
MC  " slinky Bwoy" Les et famille-     planting in and out. footwear?- on the money chief


And i reader? What of Will you ask, did he not contribute, are there no tales to tell??

Well, perhaps a word here.... a word there, a consoling smile and a pat on the back
or a well turned phrase... i like to think i made a difference, changed a few lives, people were in tears i can assure you.

And best of all ,  Bertie had been let out and was slumming it in the spare room larger than life like a deposed potentate and he even came down stairs at the end to tell us how great we all were... ok i made that last bit up but the rest is all true.

the end.

Will R, 25/9/13


after
before

en famille

Gardening? hardest game in the book

genius

reclaimed sleeper bed

Richards dream door

your gonna have to breathe out sooner or later mate

thinks..."Matts bloody useless, should've done it all myself"

thinks..."Matts bloody useless, should've done it all myself"


yes, safety sandals ok?






Monday, September 16, 2013

The annual Easton in Gordano cricketing 6s competition


From left to right: Duke of Swiftage, Lord Leslie Abrahams, The Rt Hon Matty Patterson, Sir William de Rollason,  Mr Ian Pearce (formerly of this footballing parish), Robin




Real Wood lose in semi-final thriller
The last time some of us played cricket on a regular basis the game was contested by gentleman and players, Britain had an Empire and Richey Thack was still in short trousers. It was that long ago! On Saturday four gentlemen of Real Wood – Sir William de Rollason, Lord Lesley Abrahams, The Rt Hon Matty Patterson & The Duke of Swiftage – bestrode the green acres of Easton in Gordano in the company of three "players" in the form of Mr Ian Pearce (formerly of this footballing parish), Robin & Whiskers,  all erstwhile cricketing colleagues of Chris Lester.

The annual Easton in Gordano cricketing 6s competition is a fundraiser and some of the proceeds are passed on the Chris’s family, so it was important that we were represented on the day. Les will be posting some photos of the team posing by the willow planted in memory of Chris.

The format of the tournament is two groups of four; the first group is for proper cricket teams, the second for teams, like ourselves, with inflated and unrealistic opinions of our cricketing prowess. These were quickly reassessed upon watching some seriously meaty batting amongst the first set of games… and yet, with a bit of tactical nous and some inside information from Pearcey, we saw of our group opponents with ease to top the group unbeaten. 

After a long wait filled with tea, cake, beer and a very loud PA system, we ventured Into the semis against the big boys – and I mean that literally – but acquitted ourselves admirably by posting a challenging total which the real cricketers only managed to overhaul off the final ball of the match. 

Real Man of the Tournament was undoubtedly Matty Patty who revealed a hidden talent for this batting lark and champagne moment was either Les’s suicidal/valiant attempt at catching a warp factor ball or scoring 10 runs off a leg bye.

Well done everyone for turning out on a beautiful day and thanks to Easton in Gordano for inviting us and putting on such a grand event.

Swifty

Monday, September 9, 2013

Presentation night at the AGM


Awards 2012/13

The boys to entertain you!


The winners
Left to right: Neil – most improved player and goal of the season, Rich T – Manager of the Season and inaugural winner of the prestigious Sine quibus fuissemus futui tankard and Jimmer – Golden Boot with 8 possibly 9.

Well done chaps.
Les

Monday, September 2, 2013

2013-14 Fixtures

Real Wood Fixtures 2013/14
 League:
Sunday 01 Sep 2013
Real Wood FC - Redstar Redland
Sunday 22 Sep 2013
Farmhouse Nailsea - Real Wood FC         
Sunday 13 Oct 2013
Real Wood FC - Deportivo Cha Cha Cha
Sunday 10 Nov 2013
Red Star Bedminster - Real Wood FC
Sunday 17 Nov 2013
Real Wood FC - Clifton Strikers
Sunday 08 Dec 2013
Unathletico Vets - Real Wood FC
Sunday 12 Jan 2014
Real Wood FC - Rapid Viagra
Sunday 02 Feb 2014
Real Wood FC - Dads Army
Sunday 02 Mar 2014
Fairfield Allstars - Real Wood FC
Sunday 30 Mar 2014
Real Wood FC - Golden Hillbillies
Sunday 20 Apr 2014
Hillcrest Doggers - Real Wood FC
Cup:
Sunday 08 Sep 2013
Real Wood FC - Avon Retreads
 Friendly: to be confirmed
Saturday 12th or 19th October 2013
Real Wood-Voyager – Basingstoke Vets

Can't wait !!!!
Rich

Real Wood 0 vs 0 Redstar Redland

Real Wood FC

Sunday 1st September 2013
Real Wood 0 vs 0 Redstar Redland
@ Frys

A terrific battling team performance to earn a well-deserved 0-0 draw against a team that 'dicked' us (apparently) last season. Mark's reverse psychology and organisation of the team brougtht out some tremendous performances. Louis had to make some excellently saves despite being well protected by a good defense and, like Batty took some knocks in the process. Man-of-the-match Tom returned with a vengeance and Jack and he played excellently together in the heart of the defence. Batty was also highly praised for his work on the left. Throughout the team there was lots of effort and we came pretty close to nicking it a couple of times. Mark worked hard on the pitch, organising and refereeing (loving it) and Kyle, Dave and Matt Pat all mucked in with some refereeing as well as contributing on the pitch. Teamwork!
We managed 12 players in the end so just survived but it was hard and hot. (I know).
I'm hoping our usual refs will be available for future matches which will ease the burden on everyone.
Thanks Jimmer for collecting the subs (and running off with it).
I had a brilliant day and we have a point already so we're way ahead of last season!!!
I'll send out a separate email for this Sunday's fixture.
Rich

Real Wood AGM Goals – Brislington 4th July 2013



Real Wood AGM                        Goals – Brislington 4th July 2013
Present: Neil S, Neil W, Will, Tall Mark,  Jimmer, Matt Patt, Batts, Swifty, Les, Matt A, Rich, Andy
It was agreed that the club should continue to run jointly as a 5-a-side and 11-a-side.
The overwhelming message of the meeting was that all club members should help out as much as possible.  This could mean taking on one of the main roles as listed below or simply  being a good ‘team player’ by responding promptly to communications, paying subs and match fees promptly, running the line/subbing when required etc.
Communication - All
Texts and email are still the preferred methods of communication and are thought to work effectively.  It is important that all club members respond, positively or negatively, to all communications as soon as possible.
Match Reports are enjoyed by all and should be encouraged, however short, truthful and/or inappropriate they are.  If you feel like writing something, do.  The Matts loosely agreed to try to get the ball rolling next season.
Finances - Les
Les reported that we just about broke even last year… total income of £2557 and outgoings of £2551.
However, to avoid Les in particular incurring any personal expense in covering costs it was agreed that we need to raise more money so that there are more funds available to cover our expenses.  Several suggestions were discussed and it was finally agreed that the simplest solution was that all club members should pay an annual subscription of £20 and that all match fees (5’s and 11’s) should be increased from £5 to £6 per match (correct change please!).
Fixtures - Rich
In the absence of any volunteers to take on this role, Rich said he would be happy to continue with Les’s backup and support
Kit – Mark (backed up by Andy/Jimmer)
Despite Batty’s annual plea for a new kit (many of us think it was the only reason he turned up) we do have two serviceable kits (one black and one blue) and there seems no reason to spend money on a new kit yet.
Mark volunteered to be the Kit Man.  This will include ensuring that kit is washed after (or possibly just before J) matches, either by himself or by recruiting a ‘volunteer’.  Also monitoring the completeness and quality of the kit and arranging/buying items (balls, pumps, socks etc.) when needed.
Match Day Duties
Sunday match day duties will be as follows…
·         Kit – Mark
·         Substitutes – Mark
·         Buy Pay the referee – Les
·         Collect match fees (own team and opposition) – Les
·         Pay for the venue – Les
·         Collect kit and nominate a washer-upper – Mark
·         Man of the Match/Champagne Moment nominations - Swifty

Thursday 5’s (4’s L)
5’s has been going through a rough patch for a few months with several weeks being cancelled or only getting 4-a-side.  Unfortunately, on two occasions the pitch had to be cancelled too late and the fee (£46.50) was forfeited.  We should certainly try to avoid this happening in the future.
We also discussed whether we should try for an earlier time on Thursday nights, but the majority said that later (i.e. 8:45) suited them better so we will keep it at that.
Les will book us up for another block booking of 10 weeks. 
Because Goals is quite an expensive venue Will is also going to look around to see what other options, if any, are available.  It was agreed that any new venue should be central(ish) Bristol and should preferably have facilities (i.e. a bar) on the site as the post-match lecture by Mark is all part of the deal.
Matt P will continue to send the texts for 5s.
Les will pay for the pitches

Awards 2012/13
Golden Boot – Jimmer (8, or possibly 9 goals this season)
Man of the Season – Jimmer
Most improved player – Neil
Goal of the Season – Neil (choose any of many)
Loan Player of the Season – Jack
Goalkeeper of the Season – Carl
Champagne Moment(s) of the Season – Felix’s Arse Trap (and hat trick)
Game of the Season – Vs. Dads’ Army – won 4-0
Manager of the Season and inaugural winner of the prestigious Sine quibus fuissemus futui tankard – Rich T


Finally Rich summed up the season in his closing remark, summing up nicely the great season that we have just had …  “We were the highest club in our division not to get promoted”.   Words of great wisdom indeed.

Barbie at Bertie's

Some pics of people having a lovely time at Bertie's to celebrate his return to health
"I'm sure I was holding a glass?

"Can't help you Dom someone's half-inched me specs"

"I know what went into the marinade."




"See I was first to spot the camera."

"But then we all did."